June 2013
not sure if i need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
*standing at the wedding alter*
spouse: i do
me: same
sometimes i forget im a real person
An Atheist and a Christian sit down at a bar. They both knock back a few drinks and enjoy each others company because they aren’t pretentious assholes.
my goal for this summer was to get hot and i already wasted two weeks damn i better get on that
Nothing’s better than starting your period the day after a break up. I needed to physically feel like shit instead of just emotionally. Thanks Mother Nature.
“One day, you realise that there are some people you’ll never see again. At least, not in the same way.”
—I Wrote This For You (via universeobserver)
Sometimes I’m like “sleep is for the weak”
Sometimes I’m like “sleep is for the week”
There is no in between.
“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”
—Buddhist Saying (via misscannabliss)
someone telling me to calm down when I was already calm unleashes a fury that not even hell can contain
Today in science we learned that you can never gain cold, you can only have an absence of heat; and it made me think that maybe hatred doesn’t exist, and there’s only an absence of love.
this is the realist shit I’ve ever read
You’re so deep, I can’t even see you right now.
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
do catholics fail trigonometry because they’re afraid of sin
do irish people fail trigonometry because they can’t tan
does everyone else fail trigonometry just cos
I was born at an incredibly young age
i told this to my english teacher and she almost kicked me out of the class
one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him
I talk a lot of shit for someone who panics while ordering food at restaurants
she wants the D
her teachers are concerned
why doesn’t she want the A
in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
